Often when I am disappointed by something or someone, it is hard to tell what I am disappointed with more...myself or them. Usually, I am more disappointed in myself because I am responsible for my own life and I generally can identify something I did or failed to do that contributed to my disappointment.
I am certainly getting plenty of opportunities lately to workout my "handling disappointment" muscle. I am extremely disappointed that the process from signing an LOI (letter of intent) to opening my business is painfully long. I am already at 5 1/2 months, and still looking at 3-4 months longer before I am open in my permanent space. On this issue, I am not disappointed in myself. I think I have pushed as hard as I can to keep things moving along.
I am also disappointed with the person I hired to help me set up my new blog. I really made a mistake by letting the fact that she sounded just like someone who'd be a friend of mine as we talked on the phone get in the way of making a sound business decision. Had we not had such a comfortable conversation, I am sure I would have been more diligent in asking good questions and setting up the expectations before I paid her to do the project. Now, here I am, almost 4 weeks into the project, and I have nothing except a template and a color scheme I am only moderately happy with (although it is much better than anything she showed me initially). I don't think she is a dishonest business person. I just think she is an inexperienced business person who is trying to do the work-at-home-mom thing and is not being very successful at it. Honestly, I don't know how anyone thinks they can work and take care of a young child at the same time. Young children are just too demanding of our time and energy.
I have to say that, amid all this disappointment, I am proud of myself. There have been times in my life when disappointment has really thrown me. The word disappointment sounds like a fairly mild affliction, but it packs quite a punch. Disappointment can give birth to depression. Knowing that helps me keep from succumbing to that cycle. I'm beginning to feel a little like Santiago in The Old Man and the Sea. And like him, I intend to be a survivor.
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